If asked, I would say the single most important thing you can do to not only survive cancer or other life threatening condition, but to thrive despite it, is to discover your joy(s) in life and make sure you prioritize those things.. Finding whatever it is that makes you happy or allows you to be in the moment or flow state, is what will make life meaningful and full for you and allow you to appreciate every day and live life to its fullest. One of my joys is gardening.

I moved to my present home on Long Island from an apartment in NYC 32 years ago. The house is on a large piece of property and includes an attached greenhouse which I thought could be a lot of fun. I had always wanted to garden, but had no experience whatsoever. 32 years later I am still gardening and it has become essential to my health and well being.

I am not a great gardener, but I am a very persistent one. I have made so many mistakes over the years from growing the wrong plants in the wrong places, to overwatering, underwatering, overfertilizing, you name it. But I have learned along the way and would call myself a decent gardener now. I think people think I am better at it than I am simply because I have a greenhouse and therefore manage to keep things alive through the winter. The greenhouse serves as my happy place that time of year, as I have a number of plants that only bloom then. My Meyer lemon plant ( the lemons of which do become limoncello!) lives there over the winter. I also grow orchids, which most people assume to be difficult. In truth, orchids are not difficult, provided you give them a spot that suits them and don’t overwater them. I have found that numerous varieties do not like my cold greenhouse in the winter and most of them have died. (I have killed quite a few orchids over the years as well). The ones that do well there don’t mind the colder temperatures in winter, in fact they need those temperatures to bloom, so they do well. They make me look really good!

I also had a rose garden for many years. Growing roses successfully may be one of the most difficult gardening chores out there. They are a TON of work. Pruning, fertilizing, spraying for both fungal diseases and insect infestations – the list is endless. There are so many pests and diseases and weather conditions to devastate them. They do look glorious in June, and pretty good periodically throughout the summer, but the hoops you have to jump through for that! I have never regretted ripping them out. In the time I used to spend just on the roses, I can now deal with multiple gardens scattered around the property.

For me, the benefits of gardening are many: I am outside in the fresh air, I am getting exercise (I do most of the work myself), I have beautiful flowers growing and now I have loads of butterflies and hummingbirds to watch as well. Most importantly perhaps for my post-cancer life, (and life is definitely divided in my mind as before cancer and after) gardening is an exercise in hope and optimism. Planning a garden, choosing the plant, ordering from a catalog, starting seeds – all of these are future oriented: to reap the benefits of seeing it as planned, you have to still be around quite awhile later. The prospect of my cancer returning is the dark cloud just over my shoulder and gardening is one of the ways I can metaphorically give it the finger.

Gardening also saved my sanity this past Covid year. When the lockdown started last March, my daughter and her husband moved in with us for what we all thought would be a few weeks. They were here for 5 1/2 months and gained an 8 week old puppy along the way. With 3 people working remotely from my modest house, I felt like there was no room for me anymore. I was used to being home with the house to myself (and my dog Lola) and now had no place to escape all these people on the phone! There was no quiet place at all inside. As soon as it was practical, I was outside mucking around in the gardens. Those gardens were never so well tended as they were last year! I made all sorts of extra jobs for myself to keep me out there and away from the inside. I even put down 20 – 50 pound bags of mulch mostly by myself (My enthusiasm was definitely greater than my common sense here). I was very happy though – it made a tough situation so much more tolerable, kept me outside and exercising, and we all enjoyed the fruits of my labor throughout the summer.

I think there is just something about being around greenery that is good for the soul. It is well known that being in nature is soothing. The recent boom in sales of houseplants is evidence of the salutary effect plants have on people. Not everyone has the space, the time, or the physical capacity to be as enthusiastic as I am, but there are many ways to give yourself a little joy from plants and flowers. The newest craze is self contained gardens that you just plant inside and grow-they even include grow lights. I gave my daughter one of these (an Aerogarden) as a birthday present. It is a compact garden with everything you need to grow 6 different culinary herbs (in this particular case). Since then, I have seen advertisements for indoor gardens as large as 6 feet tall in which you can actually grow a fair amount of food. I am quite tempted to buy myself one and grow salad greens during the winter. You really can grow something almost anywhere now.